My best defense, running from you
by Junnina
Summary: Szayel and Ilforte were totally different,in everything – but while the first studied hard to reach perfection,the other –with his beauty, determination, and even his hate for academic things and foolishness- was perfect just the way he was.SzayelXIlforte
1. Prologue

_Las Noches.  
_

Ilforte, down in Szayel's laboratory, was watching his brother's back, breathing hardly.

The blonde Fraccion was standing near the door, a shoulder against the wall, his left hand grabbing hard his right arm and his stomach, both covered in blood.

There were three deep scratches on his cheek – it was just like he had a fight with a really _big_ cat. From his expression you could say that he was suffering – but even so, not a single sound came out from his mouth.

The blood was dropping slowly on the floor, making a stain and dirtying his hakama, ripped in many points.

Szayel, not paying attention to him, was concentrated on the huge purple monitor on the wall, the only thing that was lighting the room in which they were.

The pillars at the two sides of the room, filled with a strange liquid, made a creepy sound.

Ilforte simply stood there, while looking at Szayel. He was about to lose his senses and collapse, but he didn't want to humiliate himself breaking the silence between them.

He knew that Szayel won't turn to help him, even if he'd die there.

He just hated him. Probably more, after the last fight they had.

Ilforte closed his eyes, and the memories flew into his mind.

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**Hi there!**

Hmmm, that's actually my first attempt to write a fanfic in english. It's not my main language, since I'm Italian – but probably also for this, it was really fun writing.

It will be – I think, only 4 chapters long. It's yaoi, incest, but in a soft way – and there will be some horror in the 3rd chapter.

The idea for this came to me while reading the story '_Please turn the time_' by killmesoftly . luv . It was her that said to me, 'why don't you try writing a fanfic?', so I just opened my notepad and began writing lol.

I hope you'll like it. Please, R&R. ^__^

(Even if there not much to R&R now, I know lol)

N/A: Bleach is not mine, but belongs to the original author – and this is just a fan work made for fun.


	2. Past

_Two days ago…  
_

Szayel came to Ilforte's room, searching for him.

"Ilforte" he said, opening the door without warning and looking at him.

The older brother was in his bed with only the inferior part of his hakama on, not sleeping.

"Szayel," he echoed. With his hands crossed behind his head, he was gazing at the ceiling. "Do you know what 'privacy' is?" continued, after a small pause. "I think not – since just a couple of days ago I found and destroyed the last of the cameras you did put into my room".

Szayel closed softly the door behind him. "I know that you discovered them," said in a plain tone. "They were for a research I was working on. I needed to watch your behaviours and reactions to analyze your skills, because-".

"Yeah, yeah…" said the blonde Arrancar.

Szayel adjusted his glasses. "I needed natural actions, so I couldn't tell you-".

"Sure, sure…"

"I see that, like always, you talk just to let air coming in your mouth," concluded Szayel, glancing away, taking some steps in the small and badly ordered room, so different from his huge and immaculate laboratory.

In that moment, for the first time, Ilforte removed his eyes from the ceiling and rolled them discreetly towards the pink Espada.

Due to Szayel's work for Aizen and Ilforte's missions for Grimmjow, they had not the occasion to see each other for a long period – and Ilforte immediately noticed that during this period Szayel, if possible, had become more thin than he was, while his face was more pale and tired than usual.

There was also something strange with his attitude: his golden eyes were pointed on the floor, his fists clenched; his mouth was closed as he was secretly biting his lips – Ilforte realized that it was just like he was about to cry.

The blonde Fraccion looked at him just like you can look at Yammy dancing tango together with Ulquiorra.

Neither in his wildest dreams, he'd imagined that a thing like this could happen. He stood up from the bed. "What's wrong?" said to Szayel, almost panicking.

"Nothing…"

"Don't make me lau-"

"…that a fool like you can understand".

Ilforte scratched his head, unsure. He took his jacket and put it on, thinking.

That wasn't a normal behaviour for his brother. But he knew that in the past months, Aizen had made him work a lot on a complex and very secret project.

Grimmjow, while laughing, once said to him and his other Fraccion that Aizen, on the last meeting, swore to Szayel that he would have had his head, if he wasn't able to make it out.

"Oh, now I understand why you went here", said Ilforte, realizing this. "You are about to be killed by Aizen, and want to tell me your last words, right?"

Szayel didn't say anything, so Ilforte smiled.

"Hey, Szayel, when you'll be dead, can I take your place? Octava Espada Ilforte Grantz, Pale-Horned Prince of Las Noches, sounds quite cool".

Szayel glared at him, who began laughing.

He found this out, and immediately returned serious. He caught him up and grabbed his neck with hands. "What's with that look?"

Szayel smirked a little, without fighting. "I was just thinking of that awful attitude of yours… always thinking at yourself, despite the others…brother".

"I have never realized you think in another way…Szayel".

"Indeed, that's true. But –" he said, gently removing some golden hairs from Ilforte's eyes with a hand, "I was thinking that even if you're just a selfish idiot, you still are the person more close to me. So we should be more…" his gloved hand slipped slowly on Ilforte's cheek "…gentle to each other, don't you think so?" he kept drawing a line under his chin with his fingers, and with the other hand he grabbed his neck as well. "…brother?" he concluded, smiling at him.

Ilforte blinked, looking at Szayel's smirk – that was more like an imploration than a smirk – and finally understood why his brother was there, looking for him.

But that realization was nothing for him but annoying.

He pushed Szayel away, ignoring the sudden beat acceleration of his own heart. "Get away from me," he said rapidly. "I don't even want to listen what do you want to say, or why you are here. You just piss me off".

Szayel released his arms along his waist, but didn't lose his usual grin. "Sorry if irritate you. I thought you like _that_-".

"I don't like anything that has something to do with you," roared the other. "Now go away, and don't come _that_ near to me again!"

Ilforte showed his back to Szayel and remained there, without moving. It was like he was waiting to hear the door open and his brother exit. But a minute passed, and the only sound he could hear in the room was a fast, almost excited breath, and he soon realized that it was his own breath.

'_Damn it, Szayel'. _

He turned back to face his brother, and found him in the same position he left him, but this time he had a strange expression his face. Those serious, unreadable glances of him, that he couldn't understand – or maybe that he could understand too well – were just the things that pissed him off most in the world.

Ilforte just grabbed him – and literally threw him out of his room.

"That was a predictable reaction," said Szayel, not changing his expression.

"Oh, really?" said Ilforte, ironic. He had noticed the shock Szayel's eyes at his reaction – even if for just a second. Szayel was so an actor…

"Yes," he repeated calmly, adjusting his glasses. "After all, trash is always trash".

"THIS is exactly why I hate you!" yelled the blonde in the corridor, losing his mind. "If I'm trash, then why the HELL were you trying to seduce me?"

Sensing Ilforte's anger, Szayel grinned again and crossed his arms behind his back, feeling superior. "Because you are good for me just to make…that sort of things you can imagine youself'.

Becoming – if possible – more angry, Ilforte violently grabbed his brother's uniform and raised a punch, ready to hit Szayel. But a third voice made him stop.

"Oh damn, the Grantz brothers' yellin' here! What tha fuck are ya thinkin'?!"

Di Roy, another of Grimmjow's fraccion, had just came out from his room, that was the nearest to Ilforte's one.

He saw Ilforte still grabbing Szayel's collar, and his face shined: "Yeah, Forte, kick him, punch him, right'n the face!"

With a sigh, Szayel got free from his brother's grab, and adjusted again his glasses, watching the fraccion. "I guess the IQ of the Sexta Espada's wing is way below average…".

"Shut up your fuckin' mouth, Di Roy," cut out Ilforte, putting his hands in the pockets and turning to him.

The small Arrancar stared at the two brothers glaring at him at the same way – and he felt so more _small_, compared to them. "Oh, hell, yeah," he muttered, frightened. "I think I'll…go to Nakeem. See ya, Forte, Octava," said, and sonidoes away.

When he was sure they were alone, Ilforte turned again to Szayel. "Go away," he repeated, now more calm. "If you have that kind of needs, go finding someone that has the courage to fuck you, oh I forgot – nobody wants you".

"I see that still you don't understand. Well, it's normal – you always prefer yelling around like an animal, run away from what fright you, leaving others behind, just like a little coward animal – you've never changed, Ilforte".

Ilforte felt just like he stabbed him in his chest. That was a painful point, and Szayel always liked to remember it to him. "Just… say another thing…" he whispered, livid, "…and I'll kill you".

"I'm not gonna talk any more," answered Szayel, smirking a little. "I suppose we have nothing else to say each other".

Ilforte was now trembling, did not answer so Szayel, still smirking and with the hands on his back, began walking away.

When Szayel was distant enough, the fraccion kicked the wall of the corridor so hard that made it tremble, and then returned in his room, slamming the door, feeling so stupid.

In that occasion, he swore to himself that he would have talk or got near no more to his hated brother.

But now, after two days, in which they had not talking each other, IlForte returned to Szayel's wing. He found him down in his lab working, as usual, for the Aizen's project.

But he – even if probably had seen him coming from the cameras in the corridors – didn't give to him a single glance.

The blonde felt his head pulsing, and his last energies rapidly leaving him. He had no much time left so, putting apart his pride, he decided to break his promise.

"Hello," said painfully, smiling but almost crying, "Octava…Espada".

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2nd chapter. Wah. XD

I hope I can write more in these days, to publish soon also the 3rd.

Please R&R, and…thanks for reading. ^^;


	3. Present

_Szayel's lab. _

"Hello," said Ilforte painfully, almost crying, "Octava…Espada".

Just like he was waiting for this, Szayel instantly answered to him, without moving: "Why exactly are you here, Ilforte? I have no time, neither the will to play with you".

Ilforte break out in a desperate laugh, and blood came out from his mouth as well. "I'm not here…to play. I had…a fight with Grimmjow," he explained weakly.

Szayel gave at him a brief disgusted glance. "I see… so please, before you go, make sure to clean the fl-"

"Heal me".

For the first time, Szayel stopped to work to turns completely toward his brother: his golden eyes were two fissures of hatred. "We have an hospital wing, you know . And it's full of the nurses inferior beings like you seems to like so much. Now go away. I'm a busy man".

"…can't," said Ilforte, closing his eyes.

Szayel wide opened his ones. "You escaped from the fight?" realized. "And he's still searching you?" For a second, a light shined in his eyes. Then his expression returned plain. "If so, go get killed and stop bothering me. You are a coward".

Ilforte began to walk towards him, who had showed again to him his back. "You…".

"If you, a merely weak and useless fraccion, had the foolishness to fight with an Espada," continued Szayel, "you just _can't_ run away. It's so humiliating, to have a fool like you as my-"

Ilforte almost collapsed oh his brother, sighing deeply. Szayel stopped talking, feeling Ilforte's warm blood dirtying his pure white hakama.

"What are you-"

Ilforte placed his left arm around his neck, his head on one of Szayel's shoulders – just like he was hugging him from behind. Szayel blinked. His first instinct was to push him away, but he knew that if he did this, Ilforte would fall on the floor and probably not be able to stand up again, since he was just leaning on him.

So he gave a groan and, turning slowly, put his arm around Ilforte's waist, and his hand on Ilforte's one, still on his shoulder – helping him to walk out of the room.

'I can't believe I actually abandoned my work…to help _this thing_…' said the Pink Espada to himself, in anger. 'He's just a useless Arrancar like all the others, after all. We keep playing the brothers' part, but… when we died as humans and were revived as Arrancar, we ceased to be brothers. Arrancar have no age, and no siblings'.

He heard Ilforte coughing and become more weak, so he clenched the grasp on his hand, to not let him fall.

'I'm just using him because I need him for my own things and researches. Giving him the illusion that I am different from the others, and more close to him, allow me to manipulate him and to have more possibilities of experimentations on him. But I've nothing to do with _this thing_. When I'll have no more need of him or he'll annoy me, I'll just break him. He's…just a toy'.

Szayel could hear a small laugh coming from Ilforte. "I know…" he said.

"…what, Ilforte?"

"I know I'm just a toy for you," concluded the Fraccion, just like he was reading his mind.

Szayel lost a breath. Was he talking without noticing it? No, he was sure that he was only thinking. But that was a really unexpected reaction from Ilforte, just - what allowed him to know what he was thinking in that precise moment?

"I'm a toy… That's why I…escaped…."

"Ilforte-"

"…I don't mind…of my life…".

"Shut up. The lack of blood in your brain makes you say nonsense things – more than usual".

"…I'm your toy, Szayel. So I _had to_ escape. Every child would be sad…if his toy is broken".

Szayel blinked for single a moment. Then he adjusted his glasses, deciding to ignore Ilforte's last words.

He smiled a little. "Yeah…you always…ignores me…".

"Reality is, you're not a toy but just a box, Ilforte. If you'll get killed and so my box will break, I'll simply find and use another, after retrieving the data from your body," answered quickly Szayel but his brain, in that moment, was floating.

They arrived in a huge antiseptic white room, and Szayel let Ilforte laying on a metallic surgery-bed. "I don't think there will be any body left…after…" tried to smirk Ilforte. "I just…wanted…to…say you…" his whispers faded, "…t-that…"

"Hey. Ilforte," said Szayel, noticing that Ilforte was passed out.

The Espada let out a sigh, and began studying Ilforte's condition. Ilforte was losing an impressive quantity of blood. His right arm, for the strange angle it was forming on the bed, was probably broken, and there was a deep slash on his chest and stomach. Probably, some internal organs were damaged and he was also losing blood in his body. If so, there was no much time left for him. While watching him, he licked the blood on his glove, thinking.

"Tch…it's bitter".

He hated that brother of him. In the last weeks, he had a lot of problems while working at Aizen's project. And now, to complete the circle of misfortunes, he had to deal with his brother's foolishness.

You may need to know that some days ago, Szayel found some stupid hollows in his lab: they had already almost disintegrated it, before he managed to reduce them in dust.

Few days after, an Arrancar with no sense of humour made a subordinate call him to tell him that he was late for that important council with Aizen. Szayel had never paid attention to these things, so he was shocked knowing that he forgot completely a council: he sonidoed to a deserted throne room in a hurry, just to appear suddenly and almost spill Aizen's usual tea on him.

The Shinigami didn't say anything to him, but just glared at him – and he wished to die.

( So, when the day after there really was a council, Szayel didn't show himself – thinking that it was another joke – and he didn't want to remember the words that that damn conceited Shinigami directed to him after. )

In the end, the same day he ran into Ilforte's room, some of the Arrancar he was using for his project apparently got lost in Las Noches: they finished in Aaroniero's domain and then in his stomach – Szayel was facepalm and so depressed. He had to find other subjects and started again his experiments.

The scientist was tired and sick of all this. Healing Ilforte would have taken a lot of time, since he was a scientist and not a doctor. He wished he could just leave him like that and let him die as a punishment for what he did. But even though he had so much contempt for his brother, and seeing him like that only pleased him more, he knew he needed him for his experiments like he always needed and used other people for his own personal gain.

But he also needed to finish his project before another thing happened. Szayel looked down at his unconscious brother laying in the bed.

There was also another problem – Grimmjow would soon realize that Ilforte was here, and would have come to finish his work.

If so, the fastest and more rational solution was to retrieve as fast as possible the bacteria he did put in Ilforte's body before it was too late, and then just return to his project.

So he took a scalpel from a table near the bed, and aimed to Ilforte's chest to open it.

"I knew it would have finish this way…it's probably better like this," he said, as a farewell, to Ilforte. He touched with the scalpel Ilforte's pale skin, ready to cut it.

Szayel stayed in that position for minutes, watching Ilforte's chest rose up and came down with his calm breath. With his eyes closed, the mouth curled in an imperceptible smile, his longs blond hairs sprayed with blood, even in this state he seemed to him not a useless Fraccion but a beautiful angel or a prince.

Szayel sighed, and a sudden thought forced his way in his mind. He and Ilforte were totally different, in everything – but while he had to study hard to reach perfection, he bitterly had to admit that Ilforte –with his beauty, his strong determination, and even his lack of patience, his hatred for academic things, his foolishness and his tactless irony – for him, was perfect just the way he was.

'Wait…what the Hell am I thinking? That idiot is just…even in life, he was just…' The pink Espada bitted his own lips, confused. 'No, truth is that I'll never reach him,' he realized.

A flash of hatred recalled by envy passed through Szayel's mind, so the scientist raised the scalpel and violently pulled it down, stabbing the surgery bed near Ilforte's face.

"Why are you here?! What do you want from me?! You're just trash, who do you think you are?" he began shouting without thinking. "You're despicable! You just screwed me, obligated me to heal you! YOU! You…"

"Lord Szayel Aporro!"

"Lord Szayel Aporro…"

Lumina and Verona entered in the room together.

Szayel didn't look at them. "…what?" asked, his hand still on the scalpel, serious, gazing Ilforte.

"Grimmjow has just blown up the main door…".

"…of our wing".

"He's coming here, and he's very angry!" said Lumina, while Verona was trembling.

"…shit…" commented Szayel. He wasted all his time like an idiot, and now he had no more chances, neither to heal nor to recollect his bacteria from Ilforte. He looked at him one last time, and then he decided what to do.

"Lumina, Verona, go tell Grimmjow that I'm coming – so he can stop destroying my wing in order to catch my attention".

**

"So where's my Fraccion?" roared Grimmjow in the corridor, few minutes later, almost running towards Szayel, who was calmly heading for him.

"My, my…you look pretty upset, Sexta Espada," smirked the scientist, adjusting his glasses. He had no time to change his clothes, so they were still covered in blood, that was also dirtying his face.

Grimmjow didn't pay attention at this. "How else can you look when your Fraccion steal your Caja Negation and use it on you?!"

"Oh, so that's what happened. Unusually smart thought, for an inferior being like him".

"I know he's here," said Grimmjow. "I can smell his blood on you. Are you trying to hide him?"

Szayel raised his eyebrows, not answering.

Grimmjow grinned dangerously. "How lovely. The two brothers sacrifice their own lives to protect each other. Really, how lovely".

"I don't know what are you blabbering about," observed tonelessly Szayel, with his hands on his back. "The fool ran here, that is true. But – unfortunately – I can't give him to you".

"BULLSHIT!" yelled the other. "I swore that I'd kill him and you cann-"

"Grimmjow," said Szayel, "he's already dead".

Grimmjow's eyes went wide open. "…are you kidding?"

Szayel sighed. "Unlike you all, I've no time to kidding. He's dead. He's in the room you'll find down in the corridor I came from. Go prove yourself and then get lost, I must finish my work for Aizen-sama".

Without saying anything else, the Sexta Espada began running in the corridor, passing over Szayel. The scientist reached him walking slowly, and when he entered the room, he found Grimmjow smelling Ilforte's corpse and looking suspiciously at it. "That's Ilforte, no doubt. But he's not dead yet".

Szayel took away one hand from his back and touched gently Ilforte's forehead. "He will soon be. There's no doctor who can mend all this mess".

He laughed. "How can I say…that you're not going to use one of your tricks to heal him after I leave?"

Glaring at Grimmjow, Szayel raised his hand and sank it on Ilforte's chest. Along with the sound of broken bones and flesh, he took out from the corpse his heart. "Now, he's really dead. Are you satisfied, Sexta Espada?"

Grimmjow was a skilled warrior, habituated to these scenes - but when he saw Szayel, with that freaking serious glare pointed on him ripping with a rapid movement Ilforte heart's veins and showing to him that…disgusting…still pulsing thing, took a step back.

"I suppose…yeah," he nodded, swallowing hard.

"Now, take with you your trash and get away from my wing".

"Well I think…you can…have him," muttered Grimmjow.

"Why not? Are you disgusted?" smirked Szayel, delighted, showing him again the heart. "At least, take this. You know, the heart is the…best part," he concluded, licking his own lips.

"_You_ are _disgusting_, Szayel," spitted Grimmjow. "Tch. This damn story cost me one of my strongest Fraccion. I give up, do what you damn want with him. I'll leave," said, walking out from the room.

"See you, Sexta Espada," answered the pink Espada, bowing ironically.

When he was sure Grimmjow had left his wing, he took a deep breath, watching Ilforte's body.

"Too bad…" he whispered. "…too bad… I had just finished to made you…and now I've just to do the whole thing again. DAMN IT!" he crushed the heart still in his hand, and the corpse opened his eyes in pain, and then he slowly closed them. He rapidly changed shape, turning into a hollow.

A clone. That was the project he was hardly working on for Aizen. A hollow who can transform into another being, copying all his abilities and every small detail of it, from his voice to his reiatsu, from his normal behaviour to his fight skills, just putting in him a small DNA sequence of the subject chosen.

He managed to realize this after a lot of efforts, and was just about to do the last experiment on it when Ilforte entered in his room. So, in order to save that idiot from his superior, he had to sacrifice his most precious experiment.

"You'll pay even for this, Ilforte," he whispered in frustration, exiting from the room and aiming toward the real room where the real Ilforte was – yes, it was so convenient, in these situations, to have the possibility to change the direction of your corridors at your own will.

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Oh, finished. :P

I'm not really proud of this chapter – but it's finished.

The next one will be the last, so… stay connected. :3


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